Welcome back. To summer 2012. We’ll play catch-up for two days, and then get to what’s happening now. “Now” as in more recently, not as in “I’m typing non-work things in the office because my internet isn’t working.”
So, we had just left Chicago for Milwaukee and we were feeling like naked guys peeing off a balcony; hung over.
Step one was finding a hotel. We fired up Hotwire and found the cheapest place: the Hilton. We walked in and - no! I’m not going to make a Hilton joke - we were surrounded by gold décor and uniformed pilots. Wait, that was a dream I had.
It actually was a popular place for pilots so at night we had a few talkings-to for being too loud. And I wasn’t wearing my seatbelt. Let alone pants.
Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?
We dropped off some baggage and drank some away before heading to a patio bar to sober up..
“Man, this isn’t working,” said one guy.
“Well maybe you’re doing it wrong!” said the optimistic one, “the cup transfer could be adding too much air. Try straight from the pitcher.”
“You’re right! I feel amazing! And my God, these people are all nines!. And the band is aamazzzingggg!! This-this’s my song!”
“Yeah, it’s a remedy passed on from my Irish family. They said that after a few rounds of treatment you’d feel 100% and you’d be able to count all of the potatoes. Er, either that or they said you’d be able to count to potato.. I forget.”
So we tested the theory for a while and then caused some ruckus in the hotel room – “ruckus” reminds me of Leon from Curb Your Enthusiasm so Google the best of Leon – and security made us shut up because of the pilots.
Have you googled it yet?
Anyway, a girl from the next room knocked on the door and wasn’t happy (likely a pilot’s jet lagged joystick). One of the guys jokingly took over while he was lying in bed, after I said:
“Relax, we’re not making much noise.”
“I will not relax.”
“Hey! Fuck off over there!”
“No, you fuck off!”
“I will NOT fuck off. I’m gonna come over there.”
“No you aren’t!”
“Too late, I’m on my way! I’m naked!”
Oh, hello again security.
The next morning we woke up and ventured back to Chicago for one last night out..