High Tide. Sea Weed?

(in the year 2012)

As per Andrew Baker’s request, I started reading Jack Kerouac. Well…I really began the ravenous journey-or was it a true journey-“in the eyes of the beaten soul” a vagrant once said with penultimate conviction- or a falsified journey one where the silk and satin covered being of one’s heart’s desire chooses to become the essence of –(as I realize now, what has been imagined is realized in lust)-such fame and fodder. “Is that not right?”-I heard from the far corner of Julien’s flat-as my haze was lessening (the tea was futuristic, if not prolonged slightly). I thought, the day will not be lost for in this very room I have found myself.

It may take a while to realize that that was a description of what I had for breakfast.

But seriously, it does take some patience to understand his style and appreciate the writing. I’m getting there.

I finally received the acceptance email from UBC a couple of days ago. Thankfully that justifies my telling everyone that I go there. I also signed a lease yesterday, which means I can just say I live in Vancouver and avoid the whole “Oh okay. So where’s Gibsons?” “You have to take the ferry there!?” “It’s on Vancouver Island?” “No? So it’s another island?” “No? So it’s on the mainland?” “Then why do you take a ferry there?” “Why don’t you just live in Vancouver?” “Isn’t that why you moved in the first place?” “Why are you turning red?” “Is that real steam?” “Should I leave?” “Am I missing something?” “Ow! Why’d you do that!?” “Oh man is it bad?” “Should I go to the hospital?” “You’re angry aren’t you?” “Do you have a first-aid kit?” “May I borrow it?” “Man, my head hurts.” “I’m confused.” “Did you say Gibsons?”

On a karma-related note, I wiped out in the shower the other day. I think it was one of the first times ever. I bet the tenants downstairs had a good laugh when they heard “YOU. Make. Me. Feel. Like. A. Naturraallll. WommmaaaAAHHHHH!!! (thump).

Ergo,

Has anyone patented the idea of having two extra nozzles on the shower head? One for soap and one for shampoo. Just have a bottle attached at the top with an on/off knob like the weed killer spray on the garden hose. I’m just saying…soap dropping-related “new experiences” should be obsolete by now. Maybe the government has the technology, but Harper’s just trying to be tough on crime.

To shake off the frustration, I went on a bit of a bike ride today. 10 minutes to the beach, 45 minutes home. Needless to say, the road was a little steep, which you definitely don’t think about when you’re riding the brakes and avoiding potholes at 40km/h. You realize after you survive. I was actually in 1st gear most of the way home. A 200 pound hamster in an exercise wheel, with low anaerobic capacity. I don’t know how those little guys don’t just give up – I did, a few times. You’d better believe that I used that roll up the rim victory on a donut.

-Apple Quitter.