East of Eatin’; A Tale of Salivate Valley

Enjoy the Googling.

Canmore to Moose Jaw, ugh, sounds boring already eh?

I proudly woke up at 8am and made it to the complimentary breakfast! But I picked the worst time because there was a boil water advisory in Alberta so if you wanted a drink there was an array of syrup packets. Though it wasn’t a no-water advisory so one would think they’d have boiled some water for us, as advised, but that’s life at Worst Western. They did have a hot tub running though, so I may have water buffalo’d to quench a bit (that’s boiled, right? Science says bubbles are indicative of boiling and underwater flatulence, and it tasted fine; I deduced that no one deuced). Fortunately I found a water bottle in my bag and there was a Tassimo in the room so I killed their 4-cup supply in minutes and raced to Sasky, or at least my heart did. The rest of me took some time to cruise through the nicely-recovered Calgary and check out the Stampede. Great timing. Unfortunately I had all my electronics in the bags strapped to the bike and my huge hiking pack so I couldn’t go far from my ride, but I did have my cowboy hat strapped to the back of my pack from day one of the trip and the stampeders loved it. Even the Asian tourist stampeders were havin’ a time! I assume that’s mainly because horses don’t get fender benders.

Reliving my favourite Jumanji scene: the Stampede. Also my least favourite Lion King scene. So sad.

While in town I tried to find a Harley dealership to get an oil change because the miles were rackin’ up like my jazz collection and I probably should’ve in Van but come on, that’s not what I was there for. Alas, the search was fruitless because I didn’t try. Let’s be realistic here. And I couldn’t have my GPS going while I was riding so it was a pain in the ass of about 3/10 on the General Riding Butt-Hurt Scale to try to memorize directions in a huge city. Normally you can easily find dealerships on the main highways (yes, and street corners) but I guess I was remembering that from my last trip through the States where it’s definitely the case. I was also afraid that if I kept driving around town I might bump into the mayor and then the odds of making it to Moose Jaw would be equivalent to those of me getting a word in edgewise.

As per usual, and likely not even worth mentioning anymore, I got about two hours from my destination and the rain started. And then the lightning. The price I pay for six sunny days in Raincouver, BC. And that’s why I didn’t make it to Regina and ended up in Moose Jaw for the night. No, it wasn’t for the sexual thrill…

And the signs clearly say Don’t Feed The Wildlife.

Good luck getting that out of your head. I said to the moose.

Night y’all.