FYI (Follow Your Instincts).

Unless of course your instincts tell you that there’s something important to be found in the bird crap on my car. And since there most certainly wasn’t, why then was there an affluent man picking at it while I watched from the checkout line at Safeway?

That’ll be my question when I arrive at the Pearly Gates.

Er, well, that’ll be my lead-in. For after that, hilarity ensues.

Anyway, good sir, the ‘safe way’ most definitely was not to wait until I put the car in reverse to casually remove your grocery bags from behind my tires. 

I’d switch to shopping at IGA, but in Vancouver the prices at I-Get-Assfricked tend to hurt accordingly.