If You Can't Pronounce It, Govern It.

Continuing the adventure in California..

The airport pickup went off without a hitch. Or at least without a major hitch (I’m still single, ladies). First stop was at Main St. Next stop was at 1st St. Then at 2nd.. ok, you know how city blocks work, so I’ll spare you the details.

The first stop was at the creepiest McDonalds you could ever imagine. The Ronald McDonald statue outside was actually standing in his underwear winking at you. Inside was a who’s who of back alley shopping cart pushers. We weren’t there longer than to book a hotel using McWi-Fi. And also to walk into the washroom thinking it was for more than one person, but having the dude in there so clueless that I just went with it and pretended that was the case. It was kind of funny when he almost clued in that the dude peeing in there probably should’ve waited his turn..

After that, we checked into the hotel in the Gaslamp area. Tell me it’s not strange to have hardwood floors in a hotel. I couldn’t get over it. Kary can confirm that. It also had a set of the world’s largest useless pillows - and we weren’t even in L.A. yet!

Dinner was at the Old Spaghetti Factory (man, try remembering how to spell spaghetti on the first try). Now, out of embarrassment I won’t tell you what we ended up doing that night, but it rhymes with Watching The Jungle Book. Yep. Hey man, it’s a great flick – and what were you doing that was so special?! Neither of us had slept much in the last day, so an early night was necessary.

The next morning we packed up and drove up to L.A. along Highway 1, which is a kind of a set of collector lanes for Highway 101. It runs right along the beach communities up the coast with a slower speed limit so you can cruise windows-down and stop at all of the local shops and beach access points. It was pretty awesome. I think it took around 3-4 hours to get to L.A., but it was worth it. And it was fun to see the slow transition from real facial expressions to discount hallowe’en masks as you drove from the Beach Break Café to Raul’s Corner Variety and Botoxerie.

After we checked into the hotel, we headed up to Sushi Roku by the Santa Monica Pier. Brother, can I get a witness!? That was some unreal sushi, but I wish I’d passed around the collection plate beforehand. It was even better than when I was there last year with Douchey McHeyisthatyourgirl. After (and during) the fintastic fisherino, booze was a necessity, of course.

In the morning, wooln’t you know it, I had me some cotton mouth. The ocean had also decided to share with the city and it was pouring rain. So Rob Little, human GPS, decided to locate some breakfast. This quickly became a search for lunch. But when we finally found a place, it turned out to be the coolest 50’s diner around, with about 40 amazing milkshakes on the menu – the perfect pick-me-up for any beauty school dropout.

We’ll get back into this after my job interview tonight. They can’t say no to the flow.