Are We There Yet? Shut Up, Me!

(Mar. 21) 

So I’ve I moved all of my stuff into the new place today to prevent another awkward border conversation. “Where you going with all that stuff?” “Tijuana, wanna come? Drugs are on the house.”

Now, being a man I ignored the warning label on the new trunk bike rack (which said “remove bike and rack before opening trunk”) when I was unloading my things – And man! Does that thing pack a good one-two punch when it closes on your head. A perfect self-kidnapping: we had the knockout, the body in the trunk, and the “well he did say he was going away for a while.” Yikes.

However, I did manage to get everything moved in within 10 minutes (it was probably 30 including the blackout) and hit the road by 11pm for a little midnight cruise. Of course, this ain’t my first rodeo.

For those of you who don’t know the purpose of this trip, and that means all of you, I had that nice 10 day gap between moving out of the cottage and moving into the real-world student rental, so the world’s best sister (Kary Derksen, née Awesome) took some time off to meet me for a little vacation – or as I’ve been calling it lately, daytime.

(Mar. 22) 

So regarding said rodeo, I left Vancouver at 11pm Wednesday night and pulled into the San Diego airport just before 7am on Friday.  And much like a rodeo, Ooo-wee! my butt was numb. But in a Pink Floyd kind of way since it was a pretty comfortable ride down. The only other downside of the quick drive was trying to sleep in the car, which sounded like a great idea at the time. Get tired? Take a quick nap. It almost worked for Kramer, right? And the naps would be pretty necessary since I only had 8 hours of non-driving time to use along the way, so hotels clearly were not an option - although I did shed a few tears over that thought as I took a hand sanitizer shower and put a ‘do not disturb’ note under the windshield wiper. What I’d forgotten was that it wouldn’t actually be warm at night until I hit central California. So I froze my butt off in 0°C, turning on the car every 30 minutes to catch up on the latest headline news while I rediscovered that I had toes.

With 3 hours to spare before Kary’s flight landed, I pulled into a park by the airport and conked out for a good hour and a half. I must’ve been snoring pretty loudly to attract the cops when I woke up.. Or maybe that border patrol guy took exception to my Tijuana comment the other day.

Find out next time on “My God, I Can’t Believe I Still Read This Crap.”

(The plan was to give the full update tonight since I’ve already made it home, but Holy Fatigue, Batman, I need some rest. And while we’re at it, I could use a damn job too. I’m getting beaten up by Craigsfist.